An Even Better D₂O Amplifier

Have you ever wondered why it is that the more expensive an amp is, the better it sounds? Well, the painstaking research scientists here at Dusky Electronics have cracked the code and have discovered it's a process we call, "psychoacoustic cupping". This effect literally means the more you paid for the amplifier, the better it sounds. It's just science, people.

At Dusky Electronics, we're proud to announce that this premium experience is now available to our customers: introducing the new D₂O Amplifier Premium. Don't worry, we haven't really changed a thing except for the price tag, but we're sure you'll find that through the premium experience of paying more, you'll get an amplifier that is more expressive, detailed, and full bodied, and well, just more pleasurable to play. That's because the higher price stimulates the dopamine receptors in your brain, making you feel better and more attractive, which makes you play, and yes, sound better.

Of course, price isn't the only thing that makes these amplifiers sound better. We also use pseudoscientific language to create a premium aura around our premium amplifiers. Grain aligned aluminum chassis? Check. Magnetic flux output transformer? Check. Quark expressed proton capacitors? I guess? Sure?

This premium experience can be yours. Don't delay! For your buying and playing pleasure there are three tiers of premium experience to choose from:

• Gold Our gold premium amplifiers are hand selected for their clarity, not just of sound, but of intention. With a clear purpose, your music will translate like never before. Your audience, and your dog, will thank you.
• Platinum Our platinum premium amplifiers are a step up from the gold premium. Each platinum amplifier is spoken to lovingly for several hours, rubbed with a very expensive premium fiber rag, and made to feel loved in a way few amplifiers are ever loved. The performance of these amplifiers is par none, save for our diamond premium amplifiers.
• Diamond There simply is no amplifier more premium than our diamond premium amplifier. Once you've spent that kind of money on an amplifier, let me tell you, it's gonna sound really good. Each capacitor is individually hand caressed, and the premium turret board is wired only with copper made in a supernova explosion. The price of this amplifier includes hand delivery to most parts of the world and I'll cook you dinner while I'm there.